Saturday, April 13, 2013

Where Was I going With This?

It may be time to retire this here blog. I can't say I really want to, I don't. I love to write. I love the feedback in the comments. I love having a place on the internet to call my own. But a lot has happened and I wonder if trying to keep this up is beating a dead horse.

A few of the things on my mind:

1. Many of the thoughts I've had lately, that I've deemed worth sharing seem to fit perfectly into a Facebook status. Are my thoughts so shallow or have I weeded them out on my own or have I talked myself out of sharing the complexities of my deeper thoughts? Dunno. A little of everything, I think.

2. I am the queen of procrastination. I can procrastinate harder than the hardest and often do. Avoiding the important things with the mundane, pushing aside the things I wish to do in the name of the important stuff I'm avoiding. A guilt trip like no other. "I cannot blog if I have not studied, so I'll watch repeats of Storage Wars!"

3. I have developed an apathy I haven't fully defined. It doesn't seem to apply to any one thing in particular and never the same thing twice. So, today I may not give a fuck about world peace but tomorrow I'm the biggest advocate. While the book I couldn't put down yesterday holds no interest today. I've recently started taking an anti-depressant which has been a life-saver in so many ways. I had no idea how down I was before that precious little pill but I can't help but wonder if this is a nasty little side effect. I'm working on how I'll overcome.

Like I said, I'm undecided. I like it here and writing tonight felt good. I don't think I'm ready to let it go just yet. We'll see.


  1. Oh Sweetness ... please don't give up your blog. Any little nugget of the real you (not a watered down facebook you)is worth the wait. I have not tended this garden well either ... but it feels so good when I do. Even when nobody notices ... though I'll admit I am a comment whore - FO-SHO!

    The antidepressant is a tough one. Speaking from both (equally opinionated) sides of the argument: I NEED my happy pills. Doesn't matter how much my mind tells me I don't, I SO fuckin' do. End of story. I might like to be all political about it and say we are living in a 'prosac society' but my body cares not. Depression is a treatable condition. If it was a boil, I'd have it lanced. If it was an infection, I'd take antibiotics ... and if it was a headache, I'd stuff enough ibuprofen on top of it to smother that fucker down ... so ...

    kinda answers itself, right?

    The apathy could possibly be a delayed reaction to the move ... it could be because Mother Nature is in one seriously bitchy mood this Spring or it may be to do with the meds. If there is one thing I have learned after all these years on depression meds, it takes time to find the right one for your body chemistry. Don't be shy with the doctor.

    As to the 'can't blog if I haven't studied' ... I find sometimes getting the personal stuff out makes room for other stuff to come in. May not work for you ... but it does for me.

    Please don't go. I miss you all the time. If you ever want to talk ... I am so here.

    Love you.


    1. You're a doll! And apparently a part of a group campaigning for me to continue blogging. The group is two strong!

      Seriously, thank you for the vote of confidence.