Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Answer to Your Question

So this is where I tell you the artist and titles to the song lyrics I posted yesterday. For the record, Danica won. She doesn't get anything but bragging rights, but you can bet your ass she is gonna exercise them rights! My hubby (who shall remain nameless) only got three of them (3!). My Dad (who is apparently still reading my blog, yay!) got 5. gp gets 5.5 because he got 5 right and was really very close to another.

1. He oversees his kingdom, so no stranger does intrude. His voice it trembles as he calls out for another plate of food. Bob Dylan, One More Cup of Coffee

2. White ones, black ones, yellow ones, red ones. Necrophiliacs looking for dead ones. Dr. Hook, Freakin' at the Freaker's Ball.

3. This is it, last straw, that’s all, that’s it. I ain't dealing with another fucking politic. Eminem, Run, Rabbit, Run!

4. Gonna give my heart away. Leave it to the other girls to play. For I’ve been a temptress too long. Portishead, Give Me A Reason To Love You.

5. Rise up and take the power back, it’s time the fat cats had a heart attack. Muse, The Uprising

6. But um, they gave chase, they caught up quick. They started cryin’ on my shoes and grabbin’ my dick. Snoop Dogg, Lodi Dodi

7. He chased us with bullets, he rained us with shells, and in five minutes flat he'd blown us all to hell. The Pogues, And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda.

8. And if I seem to be confused, I didn’t mean to be with you. And when you said I scared you, well, I guess you scared me too. Concrete Blonde, Joey

9. Well, we drank champagne and danced all night under electric candlelight. The Kinks, Lola

10. I need no soft lights to enchant me, if you would only grant me the right to hold you ever so tight. Norah Jones, The Nearness of You.

Until the next Seriously Random Quiz, G'nite!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Version of The Internet's Hottest Sensation

Today is the day I will make up for the lack of posts lately. First, I am going to steal a popular idea from Danica and Xtreme, The Seriously Random Quiz (although the randomness of these quizzes could rightly be called in to question at this point). Then I will take care of my award. Yes, I am award worthy! And finally, the NWW post, which won’t come till later tonight.

My Seriously Random Quiz will require you to guess either the artist or the song based on the lyrics I provide. I have eclectic taste in music. You have been warned. And I don’t want to have to go postal on y’all or release the Assassin Kitteh like Danica, so please play!

1. He oversees his kingdom, so no stranger does intrude. His voice it trembles as he calls out for another plate of food.

2. White ones, black ones, yellow ones, red ones. Necrophiliacs looking for dead ones.

3. This is it, last straw, that’s all, that’s it. I ain't dealing with another fucking politic.

4. Gonna give my heart away. Leave it to the other girls to play. For I’ve been a temptress too long.

5. Rise up and take the power back, it’s time the fat cats had a heart attack.

6. But um, they gave chase, they caught up quick. They started cryin’ on my shoes and grabbin’ my dick.

7. He chased us with bullets, he rained us with shells, and in five minutes flat he'd blown us all to hell.

8. And if I seem to be confused, I didn’t mean to be with you. And when you said I scared you, well, I guess you scared me too.

9. Well, we drank champagne and danced all night under electric candlelight.

10. I need no soft lights to enchant me, if you would only grant me the right to hold you ever so tight.

That was kind of fun. I hope I’ve managed to stump you, but I would be ridiculously pleased if someone guessed them all. I tried to include a couple I think are obscure and a few I think everyone should know. But maybe my musical well isn’t nearly as deep as I like to think it is and these are all kindergarten easy. Either way, have some fun. Oh, by the way, of the people participating I put my money on Spender (or my hubby, but really he has an unfair advantage and he ain’t gonna comment, cause he’s all mysterious and likes it that way), or Danica. Aw Hell, maybe I did make it too easy.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

And The Award Goes To......

...Me? Oh! Hey! Me! Yay!

Danica thinks I'm talented and for that I get to win an award! Thanks, Dani! Although, I have to say, whatever you've been told? It ain't true. None of it! Seriously, except for that one time.....Just kidding. So as penance for being award worthy I get to amaze y'all with 10 things you might not know about me. That's not really that easy to do without getting overly personal. But I'll give it my best shot.

1. My favourite colour is red. I very nearly shun all other colours except black which goes with red really well and pink, which is really Red's little sister.

2. I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up. Then I realized law is interpretive and not absolute and knew better than to try to fix the world's problems that way. Then I decided I would become a writer. I sell mortgages. Go Figure.
3. I had my daughter when I was 18 years old and hate the look I get when people do the math and figure out a 31 year old woman has a 13 year old daughter. She is taken care of, well adjusted, lovely and spoiled within an inch of her life. I am with her father and have been since I was sixteen. Take your judgemental eyeballs and have a look in your own closet before you peg me with a stereo type. Yeah, a little passionate about this.

4. I have a growing obsession with all things fantasy. I used to think fantasy was the geekiest thing imaginable. Then my hubby introduced me to role playing computer games, a number of which lean heavily toward the type of D&D Fantasy I like. They lead to reading fantasy and Bam! I'm hooked. Now I proudly let my geek flag fly. Where the hell did you think Eyvi Sprite came from?
5. I couldn't carry a tune if my life depended on it. I wish I could. Because I love to sing. And do, much to the chagrin of my family, at the top of my lungs.
6. I am grossly weak willed but inherently stubborn. How does that happen?
7. I was raised with religion and have abandoned it. I cannot bring myself to rest my fate in the hands of a whatever, for which there is no substantial proof. My faith is broken. I wish it weren't, because the idea of religion is beautiful. Not the good, clean living, that's nice but not what I love. It's the ability to believe. I envy those who do. Those with the ability to free themselves enough to have faith. But I can't do it. I do however, allow my imagination free reign and frequently wonder at the existence of far stranger things than God. I haven't figured out how not to be a hypocrite.
8. I have been to every province east of Ontario except PEI and have never been west of Hamilton.
9. My nickname as a youngster was Piss Ass. Mad Max hated the name my parents chose and called me that instead. On my wedding day, when he told me he couldn't call me Piss Ass anymore, I cried.
10. I don't like fudge. I know, I should be tarred and feathered. Drug out into the street and shot. I can't help it. It feels gross in my mouth and the taste does not make up for that. Not even close.
Wow! That was hard! I hope I have lived up to each of your expectations. If not, I'll try not to lose any sleep (hmm, the sarcastic font is missing on my blog too!)
My nomination? Lainey Bobainey - because she makes me laugh everytime I read her blog and cause she started NWW. It takes alot of guts to tell people to quit their bitchin' even if just for a day.
I'm a wee bit tired now. Maybe I will write about Wednesday on Thursday.
Blogger is making me wonky because it won't leave the spaces I keep putting in! Argh!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Obsession, for Me!

No Whining Wednesday went off without a hitch today. I did my very best not to gripe, moan, whine or otherwise complain about anybody or anything. I was determined when I woke up this morning to amaze you tonight with my ability to see the silver lining today, but really there is no need. Today was a good day. I didn't even have to try. Although about an hour ago all the energy I had leaked out my toes and is now a puddle on the carpet beneath my desk. I've yet to muster up the energy to climb the stairs and fall into bed. Once we've had our little visit, I shall retire.

I've mentioned a time or two before that I am mildly obsessive. I possess a bit of an addictive personality. I have no problem admitting these things. Those who know me well, know it and accept it, because I normally have a short attention span as well. It will end in due time.

So far my Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood obsession has given me a run for my money. I read all of the books in the series that have been published to date. I watched the first season of True Blood online (with Japanese subtitles for the most part, which just goes to show the depth of my crazy), then I rented the entire second season from the evil monsters at Blockbuster (soul - sucking company). I watched that. Then I visited HBO's web site to find out when season 3 starts (June/10 for those keeping track). Oh come on! It has Alexander Skarsgard (how do I make the dots?!?!), that man is Hawt. I submit this picture as evidence:

Go ahead and tell me that isn't all kinds of goodness, right there. Yeah, I didn't think so.

So then I went to the authors website to find out when the next book comes out (May, if I remember right) and while surfing around her site I read a word I had never paid much attention to before, because I had never needed too, and that word is Fanfic, or maybe it's Fan Fic. Either way, I asked myself why I had never heard of this and went in search of some. I should fucking know better! In all honesty some of it isn't so bad. Some of the stuff I read showed some promise, but that was far out-weighed by the dreck. Jesopus Creepers, people. These things should have no other title than: This is My Secret Sexual Fantasy About... Blah! It was ridiculous. And I have been put in my obssessing, jonesing place. Serves me right.

More obsessive stuff, this time related to music. My hubby found a song and played it for my last night and asked me what I think. Last night I thought it was good. Today, I have listened to it 3 times since supper. I will listen to again before I go to bed, for sure. Here it is, tell me what you think.

I heard a Jack White song tonight I want to become obsessed with, but I don't know the name of. It was in a trailer for a movie called The Drifter. At least I'm pretty sure it was Jack White. I'm usually fairly good at knowing an artist by sound and he's distinct, but I have been wrong before. Anyway, I will Google the movie tomorrow and see if I can't find out.

I will have these two songs played out before the middle of next month. I'm surprised the vampire obsession as lasted as long as it has. It'll probably burn out soon. Ridiculously short attention span and all. Besides I have 52 new books to look forward too!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

No Whining! I'm Not!

As you are aware, my hubby is enjoying an all expenses paid trip to the big city, which makes me slightly busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

This is what made me smile today:

- I volunteered to be the fundraising coordinator for my daughter's hockey team (What was I thinking? Oh, that's right! I wasn't!). This is something I've never done but am attempting in the name of being a supportive parent (as if driving her all over god's country and paying for the most expensive recreational sport EVER isn't supportive). Today I booked one event and laid 3 more on the table. That should take care of things up until Christmas. Something ridiculous, like $5000 left!

- Being the ever attentive driver that I am, I nearly hit a car in one of only two intersections I have to navigate in a day. In my defense, I was turning left and she was running the red light (that was green and then changed to yellow while I waited). I should have waited though, to make sure she wasn't going to gun it before I did. But I was going fast and she braked hard and we didn't collide!

- There wasn't any snow last night. I adore the first snowfall, there are few things as beautiful, but not on October freaking 14th, thankyouverymuch!

- I slept poorly last night, I always do the first night my hubby is away and last night was no exception. The good news? I am bound to sleep like the dead tonight.

- I got my very first Halloween Party invitation as an adult! cough*loser*cough Yay for me! What am I gonna dress up as? I am so excited for all the possibilities.

- And finally, it feels like Tuesday because it's only the second day back to work but tomorrow is Thursday already. I love long weekends!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Well, That Was Easy.

My hubby is gone. Again. But you know what? I'm not too upset about that right now. Why, you ask? Because it's dang cold here and the weatherperson is calling for two centimetres of snow (not quite an inch, my Ameri-friends) but I gotta tell you, that requires a fire. And so I built the first fire in the stove this season and guess what? I have FLAME!!!! And red hot blazing coals! Whoo hoo! For those of you who do not rely on a wood stove as your main source of heat you are probably just smiling politely to yourself, thinking I've lost my ever lovin' mind. But if you have ever used a wood stove for heat, if you have ever been the one responsible for starting the fire that provides the warmth, then you know my satisfaction, my success.

I used 1 egg carton, a flyer, some birch bark and a few pieces of kindling (I usually need the equivalent of a newspaper, 4 - 5 egg cartons, and half a tree worth of kindling to start the damn thing) and I have a very impressive bed of coals. Not to mention, I put a junk of wood half the size of my thigh in there and it caught and is burning beautifully! I feel like I could scale Mount Everest tonight!

I took my girl to the casting call this evening. This morning I very quickly poured over every recent photo I have of my princess, and could not find one that I thought sufficient to land her the job of Actress (yes, I am taking this a bit too seriously). And, yes, I should have scoured over our photo albums before this morning, but I am the Queen of Procrastination Island. This is the way we do things here. Alright? Finally ended up taking 3 photos with her digital camera (it's better than mine) and then choosing the best one while I was at work. I corrected the red eye, and printed the picture at Wally World on my lunch. Drove the 45 minutes after work to pick up the princess, drove the 45 minutes back to the town I just left to fill out a form, provide my name and cell phone number as the parent to the child whose acting application I just handed over to a lady on the opposite side of a folding table. She promptly stapled my daughter right through the forehead so that her face would not become separated from her application. She told us they would contact us via email if my daughter was needed. By January. Okay. So....that was anti-climactic. I'm not complaining, it was kinda fun. But not exactly what I expected. I don't know what I expected but that wasn't quite it.

I signed up for the Cannonball Read II today. 52 books in one year. For those of you that aren't in the know, you can get the low down here. Reading 52 books in one year, a book a week, will be a cinch. Getting the reviews up is going to be tricky. I hate reviewing stuff. But I'll give it my best because it's for a good cause and everyone should read. It's good for ya. < -- That's evidence of the depth of my wisdom tonight, folks.

Anyhoo, tomorrow is another NWW. I will be sure to participate and I may even follow through with blogging about it.

Just one complaint before tomorrow. The Military has sent my hubby home for the week. That's right, he's in Toronto. I am green with envy. Green, I tells ya! I wanna go home too! I wanna stay in a five star hotel on the tax payer's dime in Downtown T.O. I wanna see my family and friends. It's not fair! *picture foot stomping here*

Friday, October 9, 2009

Can You Smell The Cute?

Today I show up to work and my good friend Danica is not here because she is a leaky phlegm faucet and the other lady I work with has taken the day off. Guess what that means! I’m a little freaked out because someone has to cover for them and it’s been so long since I worked hard I was worried I had forgotten how. It turns out there wasn’t that much to do and my worries were unfounded, so I am blogging to kill time.

In honour of Thanksgiving and my wedding anniversary I thought I would sicken you with the maple syrup-y sweetness that is my husband and me once in awhile. Another of our goofy conversations had via email recently (and if you think I’m a little full of myself because I post conversations between my hubby and I, well, all I have to say is Duh! I blog, I obviously think I have something worthwhile to say and everyone wants to read it). Names have been changed to protect the innocent:

Me: How is your day going?

Him: Good, so far. A bit bored because all the things I’m working on require people that aren't here or can't do it right now. Other than that I’m gearing up for an afternoon of complete boredom. This course I’m taking is painfully useless for the most part and I have to force myself to try and even go to the damn thing. No more of these for me after this I think. At least for a while. The politics one had some interesting topics at least. This is just force fed malarkey !! OK love ya see you later on. Oh, how is your day going ??

(you see, he didn’t forget to ask me how I was after his little tangent)

Me: I’m ok. I have to talk to Narcissus about some work the real estate company would like me to start doing, but he’s avoiding me like the plague and it’s driving me bonkers. Other than that? Yeah, it’s ok.

Him: You should pour something on the floor in the foyer. He'll stop to complain and while he's looking down you can commando roll from behind the desk and give him a flying armbar. That should get his attention !

Me: Hmmm, I’m not sure attacking your boss is something sane people do. Without being provoked. While it would be intensely entertaining, I doubt it would have the desired effect. Besides, I don’t think I could do the commando roll. I’ve got the flying arm bar covered (I even have a war cry, but I’m not telling you) but I’m not confident I could execute the commando roll with accuracy (or grace, yep, definitely no grace).

Him: You’re so boring but ok fine. How about just doing the War cry from behind the desk? At least. Only if it doesn't sound like Xena's. You have to wait until he’s quietly pondering something all alone and then let it go !

Me: No, Sadly, I cannot channel Xena. Although, it would be the cat’s ass if I could. I’m not sure why the cat’s ass is so spectacular, but they say that it is. And before you ask: Yes, I listen to everything they say.

That’s all. I didn’t get the opportunity to defend myself. To explain that having a war cry is proof that I am anything but boring because boring people don’t think about what their war cry should be (neither do sane people, bet then y’all knew I was a little left of normal, didn’t ya?). Perhaps conversations like this one are the reason my boss doesn’t want to leave me alone at the office. Not that he read this one (cause it was had by email. Did I say that? Yup, I did.), but maybe he intuits.

Anyhoo, back to the topic at hand: Anniversaries and Thanksgiving.

I am thankful the hubby and I have managed to remain married for 6 years (we’ve been together a grand total of 15!). Seeing as we are obviously from opposing universes – no Mars and Venus for us, noooo, neither of us fits the description of a native Milky Way-er (?) – it is a blessed miracle we have made it this far. But you know what? While it is a little easier for both of us to become irritated with the others quirks (that is far too cute a word to describe our shortcomings), he is still the hottest guy I know. The smartest person I know (what? brains are sessy!). The best conversationalist (when we have any energy/time left to talk to each other). And he loves me. Which is, yanno, important.

OH, gag! Where’s the turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and other Thanksgiving goodness?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Coming Up For Air

Well, Hello, my blogging friends. How do ya do?

I've promised myself I will force things, if I have to, to return to normal shortly. I've indulged my book junkie quite enough, I think. Problem being is, there is one book left. I started it today, it will be done tomorrow, then Sookie Stackhouse and I are going to have a little break. Will I jones like any chemically dependant loser? You bet ya! Only my dependence relies entirely on paper and type (not entirely true; I am sated if the type is on my computer screen as well). Until the next one comes along. I don't nurse my books. I guzzle them. It is rare that a book's attraction is so weak that I will take my time reading it (I take my time with fairly challenging books too, but who are we kidding? I read to escape. I'm not lookin' to better myself (usually)).
When I have completed my read-a-thon (9 books in 10 days qualifies, doesn't it?) perhaps I will offer up a complete review. Then again, maybe not; the next book in the series is due this month. Oh, Jesus! I can't quit!

Yeah, my personality hosts a score of defects. I am aware.

Work sucks. Always does, but it's sucking extra hard this week. My boss...well, there aren't words, really. Danica tries and comes close, but I promise you still only have an inkling of the man.

When Narcissus (apt nickname for the man that signs my pay cheque (that's 'pay check' for my American friends, hee!) ) moved his business into the new penis extension...ahem, building he built, he rented half of the building out to a local real estate company. Included in their rent was one receptionist. Me. I have been a receptionist (receptioned? Naw.) for a real estate company previously, I knew what I was in for. I asked for training. I begged to be told what was to be expected of me; what Narcissus had agreed to. I was avoided, put off and ignored. I was never told what exactly was in the contract. So, since May I have played it by ear. I like most of the real estate agents, and while they can be self absorbed and demanding, I don't have much else to do so I don't mind doing what they ask. Fax, photocopy, keep the filing cabinet stocked, update the listing book, so on and so forth. Combined with what I do for my own company this takes up about, if I stretch it, 4 hours of my day. - Now you understand why I spend so much time at Pajiba. I keep going back because the Pajiba community rocks my socks, but I never woulda found y'all if not for my pretty feathery work load.- So when they ask me if I can do more I usually agree. They've recently asked if I can begin inputting new listings into the system (MLS) and edit existing ones. I said I would be happy to, if they would train me. I asked the boss man to have a morning to spend at the real estate company's main office to receive the training. I made sure to tell him that his own personal real estate agent had requested this (she works for the company he is leasing me out to (that sounds horrible! I don't think I'll respect myself in the morning)), she sells all his real estate, of which there is acres, making herself and him wads of cash). It has taken me a ridiculous amount of time to get him to consent to me doing this. My problem is this; he told me to make sure they were happy, because when he builds the next office building next door to the one we are in, he wants to be sure it's this company that leases it. So I must make sure, where I can, that the relationship remains honeymoon like (plus, like I said, I like most of them and I'm not doing much else). He basically told me he thinks they are getting a little too handy with his receptionist. Colour me confused. I'd love to know what he expected a real estate receptionist to be. I'd love to know how I am supposed to nurture the relationship if I'm not doing anything for them. Impeccable phone manners only goes so far. I would love to know what was in this contract. Will I ever? Not bloody likely. The only thing I know for sure is that I am supposed to answer their phone. Did anyone really think that's all I would do for them?

I really need a different job.

The other day my daughter told me she wanted to be an extra in a movie. Abrupt topic change,. by the way. Her friend had done it when she lived in Germany and it was all kinds of fun. I absently agreed that that would be fun and promptly forgot the discussion. A day or two later, one of my co-workers tells me Jason Priestly is producing a series for HBO in the next town over. "Cool!" I think and move on. In today's paper there is an open casting call for all ages and types for the above mentioned production. I cut out the ad and brought it home. Gave it to my kid. Watched the sun rise in her eyes. Right now, my kid thinks I am the coolest Mom on the planet because I agreed to let her go to a casting call. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I've tried to set her expectations, warned her she most likely will not get called. It's not reasonable to expect to get a call after attending one casting call (although, I can't imagine why they wouldn't call, she is the most beautiful girl I know! /Mommy thoughts). I doubt she heard a word I said. She is literally floating right now! Oh, to be 13 again! It isn't until next Tuesday. Perhaps I will write about the casting call experience.

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving. For two reasons. 1) turkey, duh! 2) it's also my wedding anniversary. 6 years. We haven't killed each other yet. Yippee! Love ya, babe!

I've gibbered on long enough and abused more than my fair share of parentheses, I think. I will talk at y'all tomorrow and let you know how miserably I failed at not whining!