Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Smile! You're on Candid Camera!

I agreed to participate in No Whining Wednesdays with a fellow blogger, Lainey Bobainey , as I mentioned yesterday. I tried to purge myself of all negative thoughts last night by blogging. Much to my surprise, I had nothing negative to say. As fantastic as it is to have no complaints, it did not bode well for my No Whining commitment. It is rare for there to be two complaintless days in succession. I don't know what that says about me and my life and I don't really care, you aren't Freud and I ain't here to be judged. The fact remains. It is out of the norm. Well, boys and girls, Wednesday arrived and true to form, today was intent on testing the strength of my resolve. Walk with me, talk with me......

I woke up this morning much like every other morning. Aware that today was the day I wasn't going to complain, I put on my happy face, determined to succeed (I needed a little motivation, I have been too "Eeyore" for my own good here of late). For breakfast I chose my favourite cereal, Cranberries and Flakes (I don't know what kind of flakes, but they are nummy). About mid way though my bowl of cereal, I encountered something a little crunchier than normal. Hoping beyond hope it was perhaps a cranberry that skipped past dried, right on to crystallized -stay with me here- and not something nasty (like one of the ants that seems to have taken up permanent residence in my kitchen) but reluctant to actually spit it out and check it out. 'Cause if it had been the latter I would have tossed my cookies. Sometimes what you don't know, won't hurt you. I chewed the required amount and swallowed, washed it down with some coffee for good measure. The very next bite a dried cranberry managed to adhere itself to the inside of a number of my top molars, using my tongue to dislodge said cranberry I discovered one of the teeth involved was a little more jagged than usual, a little sharper than usual, a little less there than fucking usual! That crunchier crunch in my morning cereal was a filling! So I ran to the bathroom for a closer inspection and sure enough, my fucking filling was gone!

Okay, so last November I developed a bit of a tooth ache and after a visit to my regular dentist, I was informed I needed a root canal. Fine. Two trips to the specialist and one more trip to my regular dentist for a filling that my regular dentist informed me was only temporary because "that tooth is going to need a crown". Jesus wept! I could have had the darned thing pulled for four hundred bucks! At that point I had spent $1100 for the root canal and another couple of hundred for the regular visits. Damned tooth. Damned me for not taking better care of the damned tooth! *I am not complaining, I'm story telling, stick around.* So you can understand my hesitation to fork out yet more cash to have a crown put on the tooth.

I called the dentist's office expecting to beg and plead to get an appointment to fix my tooth today, they had an appointment right away! Woo Hoo! I finished my morning routine (ironically, I had to brush my teeth!) and prepared to leave. While I was brushing my teeth, Heaven decided to turn on the water works. Fantastic! These pictures were taken with my phone so the quality is not spectacular, but you get the point, this is what I drove to the dentist in.

Beauties, huh? Small bit of a torrential downpour, but hey! My flower garden is going to be luscious!

Upon arriving at the dentist the rain began to fall even harder and the 30 or so feet it was from my car to the door resulted in an thorough drenching. The dentist promptly began to admonish me for not coming in sooner. This is not a point that needed to be further driven home, in my opinion, but I figured I deserved it, so I accepted her scolding with as little contempt as possible, choosing to focus on how quickly I was given an appointment. Once the dentist decided I had learned my lesson she had a look at my tooth. Turns out the filling I was given after the root canal is still firmly in place (ha! temporary, my ass!), it was my tooth that fell out! Not all of it mind you, but a good portion of it. There is apparently enough left of it to affix the much needed crown to. Yay! Oh and when the tooth finally has it's elusive crown, I will have a tooth worth a little better than two grand. One tooth. I'm having that shit insured. Surely there is a company that wants to protect my pricey tooth from further damage or even theft!

I had been poked, prodded, drilled and filled when the hygienist came in to inform the dentist that she has had an opening this afternoon and could take another appointment. The dentist mentioned to me that I am due for a cleaning and offered me the slot. I figured work was a write off; the roof of my mouth felt like a pin cushion (still does) and my jaw felt like it was held open with a car jack for a cruel amount of time (still does), so why not suffer more abuse at the hands of my dentist! Sure! I tested my luck and asked if I could bring my kids in for a little torture *cough* cleaning as well. Why, of course! Score! It's a family outing, sans patriarch, outing nonetheless.

To prepare for the dentist, I had the kids brush their teeth real good, and then floss. Because you know, that's gonna make up for all the lazy dental hygiene since the last dentist visit. I was helping my son brush his teeth when he tells me he's going to sneeze. I told him to spit first (in an effort to avoid a toothpaste-y spray all over everyone). He hoists himself up on the vanity, he's short, and spits. Just in time, too. A sneeze immediately followed the spit; used toothpaste shower averted! Sadly, there wasn't enough time for him to avoid the hazards a sneeze and the bathroom sink present and he whacked his forehead off the faucet. I wish I could say I was a better mother. I wish I could say that I grabbed him as quickly as I could to kiss his boo boo better. I am not and I did not. What the hell did I do, you ask? I laughed. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe let alone ask him if he was okay. I would like to think if he were crying I wouldn't have laughed, at least not as hard as I did, but he wasn't and I was beyond control. I should add that his sister did not help the situation, she too laughed like she had never seen anything so funny. Once I regained my composure, I apologized and asked if he was OK. He was, obviously, but I'm sure it helps to know your mother cares enough to ask about your well being when she hasn't done such a stellar job of showing it. For the first time in my life, I wished there was a camera in the bathroom today, so I could share with you the unintentional comedy that occurred. Perhaps then you would understand why the loss of my Mother of The Year nomination was completely out of my hands. I was a slave to hilarious circumstance.

I could go on. My entire day followed a very specific set of rules, it would seem. Every situation seemed designed to break my resolve. The Whirling Maelstrom of Whining, as Spender so eloquently put it. I am happy to report; I didn't lose my cool, I didn't break down. I forced my self to find the good in each situation today and did. You know what? I think it might get easier too, next time it may not be so hard to be optimistic. Could I become an optimist? Will my pessimistic ways be a thing of the past? I am guardedly optimistic.


  1. Good on you! I did pretty good today too, but to be fair, nothing terrible happened to *really* test my resolve. And it's a pretty sure thing the tooth thing would've done me in.

    Also, I'm pretty sure *every* mom laughs at something like that at some point. I'm sure my mom did, and I turned out (debatably) fine, so there's that...

  2. You were certainly tested, weren't you? Very impressive that you didn't lose your cool! My day ended up being a lot more um, *challenging* than I was hoping for and I have to say, I think No Whining Wednesday and you guys kept me from having a fit and being in a wicked snit all day. Just knowing that I had a) a purpose for the day and b) that you guys were taking it seriously, it really re-focused my normally Negative Nelly complaining! I'm so glad you participated & hung in there.

    PS: I was SNORTING when I got to the part about your son hitting his head! Only a saint could have not laughed, so don't beat yourself up.