Friday, October 9, 2009

Can You Smell The Cute?

Today I show up to work and my good friend Danica is not here because she is a leaky phlegm faucet and the other lady I work with has taken the day off. Guess what that means! I’m a little freaked out because someone has to cover for them and it’s been so long since I worked hard I was worried I had forgotten how. It turns out there wasn’t that much to do and my worries were unfounded, so I am blogging to kill time.

In honour of Thanksgiving and my wedding anniversary I thought I would sicken you with the maple syrup-y sweetness that is my husband and me once in awhile. Another of our goofy conversations had via email recently (and if you think I’m a little full of myself because I post conversations between my hubby and I, well, all I have to say is Duh! I blog, I obviously think I have something worthwhile to say and everyone wants to read it). Names have been changed to protect the innocent:

Me: How is your day going?

Him: Good, so far. A bit bored because all the things I’m working on require people that aren't here or can't do it right now. Other than that I’m gearing up for an afternoon of complete boredom. This course I’m taking is painfully useless for the most part and I have to force myself to try and even go to the damn thing. No more of these for me after this I think. At least for a while. The politics one had some interesting topics at least. This is just force fed malarkey !! OK love ya see you later on. Oh, how is your day going ??

(you see, he didn’t forget to ask me how I was after his little tangent)

Me: I’m ok. I have to talk to Narcissus about some work the real estate company would like me to start doing, but he’s avoiding me like the plague and it’s driving me bonkers. Other than that? Yeah, it’s ok.

Him: You should pour something on the floor in the foyer. He'll stop to complain and while he's looking down you can commando roll from behind the desk and give him a flying armbar. That should get his attention !

Me: Hmmm, I’m not sure attacking your boss is something sane people do. Without being provoked. While it would be intensely entertaining, I doubt it would have the desired effect. Besides, I don’t think I could do the commando roll. I’ve got the flying arm bar covered (I even have a war cry, but I’m not telling you) but I’m not confident I could execute the commando roll with accuracy (or grace, yep, definitely no grace).

Him: You’re so boring but ok fine. How about just doing the War cry from behind the desk? At least. Only if it doesn't sound like Xena's. You have to wait until he’s quietly pondering something all alone and then let it go !

Me: No, Sadly, I cannot channel Xena. Although, it would be the cat’s ass if I could. I’m not sure why the cat’s ass is so spectacular, but they say that it is. And before you ask: Yes, I listen to everything they say.

That’s all. I didn’t get the opportunity to defend myself. To explain that having a war cry is proof that I am anything but boring because boring people don’t think about what their war cry should be (neither do sane people, bet then y’all knew I was a little left of normal, didn’t ya?). Perhaps conversations like this one are the reason my boss doesn’t want to leave me alone at the office. Not that he read this one (cause it was had by email. Did I say that? Yup, I did.), but maybe he intuits.

Anyhoo, back to the topic at hand: Anniversaries and Thanksgiving.

I am thankful the hubby and I have managed to remain married for 6 years (we’ve been together a grand total of 15!). Seeing as we are obviously from opposing universes – no Mars and Venus for us, noooo, neither of us fits the description of a native Milky Way-er (?) – it is a blessed miracle we have made it this far. But you know what? While it is a little easier for both of us to become irritated with the others quirks (that is far too cute a word to describe our shortcomings), he is still the hottest guy I know. The smartest person I know (what? brains are sessy!). The best conversationalist (when we have any energy/time left to talk to each other). And he loves me. Which is, yanno, important.

OH, gag! Where’s the turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes and other Thanksgiving goodness?


  1. i'd imagine 15 years is a long time to put up with somebody's crap!

    at least, he's violently sweet.

  2. Glad to see you used your time without me wisely ...

    My thoughts on you and your spouse are varied, lengthy and not requested ... but he is certainly hot ... and he's obviously smart since he's managed to hang on to you all this time... so I'll go and brush my teeth (to remove the cavety forming goo you just spewed there) and get on with my morning.

    I feel like hammered shit ... with a suprize centre of phlegmy goop. oink...

  3. Poor Danica. I hope you feel better!

    You and your hubbs are aDORable, Eyvi. And brains are totally sessy... that's why I've been with pseudo-Mr. vB for almost 15 years too! (The hotness certainly doesn't hurt, though.)

    Also, I have to say, I'd never contemplated my war cry before now... and now I know what I'll spend the weekend contemplating, instead of themes of isolation and community in Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now/The Color Purple, which I'm supposed to be contemplating.

    P.S. you crazy Canadia-ites are making me want Thanksgiving NOW, and I have to wait another month-and-a-half! Quit it!

  4. gp - he can be ridiculously sweet, toothache sweet. But I adore him.

    Danica - I too have felt like hammered shit once or twice and I gotta say, it sucks ass.

    AvB - The question is, once you got your war cry down, will you share?